Social Media Etiquette: Think Before You Post
Everyone has done this at some point in their social media careers. I know I'm guilty of it, I've done it more times than I care to admit. It always starts with "I'm sorry but..." and ends either with "rant over" or "thanks for letting me vent", but that fact is, that no one did let me vent - I pushed that out into cyberspace, crossed my fingers, and hoped for the best.
The nice thing about social media is that when you're feeling really shitty about something, or you're beyond frustrated, and all you want to do is yell at whatever it is that has upset you, your Twitter feed or your Facebook profile is a nice place to let it all out. You can say whatever you want and because you've started with your "I'm sorry but..." and ended with "thanks for letting me vent" it's forgivable and no one can hold it against you, right?
Wrong.
Like I said, I'm guilty of doing this as much as some people. My son won't sleep and I can't get mad at him so I vent on Facebook. The woman at Walmart gave me a stinky look when I was disciplining my son so I yell at her on Facebook. Someone I don't know offends me and I can't defend myself so I do it on Facebook. Everyone has done it, in some form or another. And I honestly don't think it's such a bad thing - it's better than keeping it bottled up and taking it out on someone unsuspecting and undeserving.
But the one piece of advice I have to give about this is: Think before you post.
Like I tell my 10-year-old son almost every day: "If you're going to say something, say it. But say what you mean and mean what you say." Now, I'm not saying you need to censor yourself - after all, the innovation of social media allows us a certain freedom of speech we never had available to us before. What I am saying, however, is to think about what you're saying, who you're saying it to (for instance: if it's on someone else's page or a public forum), and how you think the post will be interpreted.
Because that's what it all comes down to: You could have only good intentions in your post - it could even be something as simple as asking your friends to help save the bees, but if your words do not properly reflect your intention, this is where you could get into "trouble."
Unfortunately, not all people are supportive and understanding; someone will always be offended, someone will always find a reason to be a keyboard warrior. Because they're hiding behind their computer screens, they find the courage to disagree with you and choose to take that opportunity to show the world how much smarter than you they are. Or they're misunderstand something you've said and go hog wild on your page, working hard to prove how your opinion is, in fact, entirely wrong. It's as if there is an unwritten, but well-understood rule when you join social media: See someone upset? Kick them while they're down!
Thankfully, not all people are like this. Most people are ultimately encouraging and supportive, but then you have those who are struggling in their own lives and want to take it out on someone unsuspecting. That or they just want to take the opportunity to show people how much smarter they are than others. This absolutely does not mean you are responsible for ensuring you're not "triggering" someone with your opinion/words. That's on them. That's their thing.
This is about self-preservation; considering all the scenarios in your mind of how your post could be interpreted so you don't end up more upset/bewildered/frustrated than you were beforehand.
So, before you post, before you press that button, ask yourself why you're posting: what is the purpose of your post and what are you hoping to gain from it? Are you posting because you need support? Are you posting because you want people to feel sorry for you? Are you posting because you have an opinion you can't otherwise express and you need people to know? Or are you just trying to stir the pot?
If you're posting because you're struggling and need support, try to mention that fact in your post. Before you say "rant over" or "thanks for letting me vent", mention that you're frustrated and you're looking for support. After all, that's kind of the point of having "friends" on your social media channels, so hopefully, if you ask for it, you will receive it, and not people who say: "I see what you're saying but..."
If you're posting an opinion with the limited understanding of being ultimately right and have expectations that everyone else will feel the same way and throw up their arms and pump theirs fists in indignation on your behalf, then you have to also accept the fact that there will be someone who feels the need to defend the situation/party that you are angry with. Because there is always someone looking to be Devil’s Advocate.
If your opinion or feeling could be defined as "controversial", perhaps it's best that you start your own blog. Opinions are wonderful; I love expressing my opinions and I love a good debate - it's what drives us as a society, but some people are just so easily offended these days (in fact, I can guarantee that 25% of you who will read this article will be offended by something I've said - especially those who wholeheartedly believe in the power of Free Speech regardless of said speech's intent or purpose). Sometimes, however, certain things need to be said to bring awareness, and perhaps you feel it is your duty to bring light to the topic, but you must keep in mind that not everyone will agree with you.
If you're like me and you post opinions to get the conversation going and start a debate, then go for it! Just keep in mind that people may be offended by your opinion, so try to word it appropriately and not get upset when they do oppose you.
But if you're posting an opinion statement with the expectation that everyone will offer you support and understanding, you’re setting yourself up for failure. An opinion is an amazing thing to have – it’s what drives our society: opposing opinions finding common ground to create a united population, but the reality is that your opinion is just that. It’s not fact, it’s not gospel – it’s your own thoughts and feelings about a particular situation that may be more complex than you’d realized and people will come out of the woodwork just to post their own opinion, which could be the opposite of yours.
And so – the question you should consider here is this:
Are you hoping to start a respectful debate to give you a well-rounded opinion with all the pros and cons or do you just want people to say: “Yeah! Preach it, Sister!” Cause they won’t. Some may. The majority may. But some may have a different take on the situation; not necessarily an opposition, but a different perspective that they would like to share, assuming that you're posting your opinion to learn and grow. Which brings on a second note: If you’re not looking to learn and grow through your post, then ask yourself this question:
What is your motivation for posting? What are you hoping to achieve?
The point of this article is not to make anyone feel like they shouldn't be posting these things, after all, the best thing about social media is that you can say or do whatever you want, but you have to be aware of the backlash you might receive. Not everyone is going to agree with you and to save yourself even more heartache, don't expect everyone to, either.
Post away, do what you need to do, you do you, boo boo. But just remember that not everyone is your friend (especially if you're posting on another page that is not yours), and some people may even disagree just to stir the pot.
My suggestions when posting would be to:
Be aware of what words you're using and how they can be interpreted.
Expect people to disagree with you; it's the nature of the beast.
Don't take it to heart. Just because they disagree with your opinion doesn't mean they're disagreeing with you.
When you encounter a troll/keyboard warrior (whose intention is only to make you feel bad), don't even dignify their responses with your own response. It's not worth it.
Ask yourself what reaction you are hoping to get and if you don't get the reaction you're looking for, how will that make you feel?
After considering all the negatives and weighing them against the potential benefits, and you still feel your post is important to throw out into cyberspace, then click the send button and have-at-her.
Thanks for letting me vent. Rant over.
I love this article...I have referred to it many times when speaking to my friends about social media woes....